Virgin Adventure

                                                          RANKINGS

  

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1. Chicago Gangsters - Score = 0.5    Tier = Awful!

Attempts to beat: 5

Wow. What a disaster this is. I generally enjoy gamebooks set on Earth, but this one is a rather large exception. This adventure sees you playing as Clyde, a small town hood from the sticks who decides to head to the gangster capital of the US back in the 1920s (that of course being Chicago) in an attempt to rise up through the criminal ranks, make a name for himself, and earn his fortune. Clyde is given the name of a mafia contact from a dying friend of his, and arrives in the Windy City with nothing but some money in his pocket and this name. From here, you learn that Chicago is in the middle of a gang war between a couple of rival families, and you can actually choose which one of them you want to work for, and then attempt to bring down the other. A good idea really, and this initially gives it something of a "Grand Theft Auto" feel, but that only lasts until you start playing and find out it is nothing at all like that fantastic video game franchise, more's the pity. 

I find it hard to believe that any playtesting was done on this. There are just so many aspects of this book that make no sense or are horribly botched. New sections can begin in mid-sentence, there are incorrect turn-to references all over the place, continuity errors in spades, and game mechanics which are introduced and then have absolutely no payoff. The adventure includes a Lone Wolf style combat system, where you subtract your opponent's Resolve score from your own, then use the result to get a Combat Ratio from a table which will tell you how many Strength points each of you lose should you be hit in a fight (you and your opponent take turns rolling one die, with a 3 or lower counting as a "hit"). This in itself isn't a bad system, but it is barely used as I only came across two combats in the whole book. Think the level of spaceship combat in "Starship Traveller" here. There is another stat called Popularity, which you are supposed to use to track how popular you are with the rival gangs, adding or subtracting points for them depending upon your actions. You can also be instructed to add or subtract points from your Popularity with certain individuals as well. (Wait...am I supposed to be setting up a Popularity score with every single person I meet?) Incredibly, none of this appears to matter anyway, as at no time did I ever come across this Popularity stat being checked or tested in any way, shape, or form, so how popular you are ultimately doesn't have any bearing on the game whatsoever. The other three stats you have are basically ripped straight from Fighting Fantasy, as you have Resolve (Skill), Strength (Stamina), and Luck (the author didn't even bother trying to disguise this one, although at least you don't lose a Luck point every time it's tested).  

The only game mechanic that comes close to working is tracking your Money. The adventure has you start with $1050 (why not an even $1000?) and you can win more in various gambling games throughout the book. The games you can end up playing include poker, roulette, and "crap".  At first I thought this was just a typo, but no, all throughout the book the dice game is referred to as "crap". Write crap and you will think of crap I suppose. None of these gambling games work very well in practice, with the poker game in particular being a dire mess. Anyway, if you want to put a contract out on a rival ganglord near the end of the book, you will need to have raised a certain amount of money (hitmen don't come cheap after all), which for once means there is actually a point to doing something in the adventure. That said, it is made clear several times that you rise up the ranks working as a gangster for weeks, if not months or years (as both the Roaring 20's and the Great Depression are referenced). And yet, you apparently aren't collecting any salary during this time? Similarly, I never found anywhere to recover any Strength points you may have lost, no matter how much time goes by.  

The adventure contains 304 sections, which is a decent amount. But the book is actually very small and thin, which probably tells you all you need to know about the length of the paragraphs and the associated lack of any creation of atmosphere. Most sections are very brief, containing only a statement of facts as to what is occurring, and this made it difficult for me to get immersed in the story. There is also one particular loooong stretch while working for one of the families where no decisions or dice rolls are made. And as touched upon earlier, the glaring reference and continuity errors are some of the worst I have seen, and only serves to cause aggravation when you have to go hunting for the right passage (or worse, to discover you actually were sent to the right passage, only you were sure it must be a mistake because contextually it makes absolutely no sense). 

The cover of this book also states that "YOU are the hero", when in fact you are anything but in this adventure. Your character is actually pretty despicable here, and yes, while I understand you are playing as a gangster trying to rise up through the ranks of a criminal organization, it can still feel very distasteful to not only be given the options to do things such as knocking around your girlfriend, or murdering her in cold blood and then animating her dead corpse (nothing magical, just a little bit of the "Weekend at Bernie's" treatment), but even more so when you find that you are actually rewarded for doing so! And while the book does have a few different "successful" conclusions,  I'm not sure if you can get to the optimal ending of the book without performing some pretty heinous actions. Will Rogers never met this guy!  

Ranking: Abysmal. The Bad tier doesn't really do this justice, as this is far worse than other books I have put in this tier. This completely feels like an initial design was made on the back of a used napkin, and then the napkin was just turned in to the publisher as is, mustard stains and all. The only reason it doesn't get a zero is because it can be beaten (providing you can power your way through the reference errors) and doesn't have you playing for hours upon hours before realizing that you can't win like some other books have done. What it also is though is incredibly frustrating and anger inducing, and makes the list of contenders for worst gamebook I've played. I cannot believe another book in the series was green-lit after this, and I'm shuddering to think of what experience awaits me next. Now if you will excuse me, I actually think I've found a use for "Chicago Gangsters", and it involves the aftermath of taking a "crap".

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2. Escape From Colditz - Score = 2.8    Tier = Bad!

Attempts to beat: 17

Sometimes you just have to laugh. Not in the "I'm really having fun and enjoying myself" way, but in the "I can't believe what I'm seeing" way. This entry in this thankfully short series has so many head shaking moments that my neck was quite sore by the end. I will say though that the premise here is really a great one. You play as RAF pilot Guy Hughes, who after being shot down in World War 2, finds himself sent to the German prisoner of war camp located at Castle Colditz, which actually existed in real life during that war. Your goal here then is a most basic but visceral one, to escape not only the prison camp, but Germany itself and make it safely into neutral Switzerland. This is a brilliant idea and conjures up all sorts of classic Hollywood movie imagery. It is an utter shame then that the adventure itself once again destroys this idea with more of the same problems that plagued "Chicago Gangsters", if at least marginally improved.  

While reading the rules for this adventure, I was initially impressed with what the author had laid out, and I got to hoping that he had cleaned up his act from the previous book and may actually deliver on the promise of an exciting WW2 adventure. This would prove to be a horribly wrong assessment of course, but I can honestly say I gave this adventure the benefit of the doubt despite what I had endured in book 1 of the series. There are several new stats introduced here, as now you have Resolve, Navigation, Fitness, Language, Persuasion, Combat, and Mechanical, along with your usual Strength (ie. Stamina) stat. Unfortunately, several of these are barely used (if at all), with the Combat stat being a particularly puzzling inclusion, as combat in the book is handled exactly as it was in the previous entry, with the difference in Resolve scores generating a number from a Combat Table to determine damage given on a successful hit. As such, I don't believe this Combat attribute is used anywhere in the book. 

The adventure wisely has you needing to plan your escape and gather several items that you will need before you attempt your breakout. These items include a full set of papers (Leave Card, Work Pass, and ID Card) along with money (Reichsmarks) and provisions.There is also an inventory system introduced for any additional equipment you find, and you are allowed to carry a maximum of 5 of these additional items at any time. These items can include such things as soap, a razor, wirecutters, etc. This is all good stuff, but then the means by which you acquire most of these items becomes really silly. I had visions of bribing guards or making forgeries in order to get the set of papers for example, only to find that all you have to do is visit the parcels office set up in the camp, send off a letter to your family, then come back later to find a parcel waiting for you. Inside this parcel is a Monopoly game they sent you, and hidden inside the Monopoly board is a full set of papers. And herein lies one of the major problems with the adventure, and that is that the opening half that takes place inside the camp is incredibly tedious. It is designed in a manner that you keep circling around and repeating the same sections over and over. If the goal here was to represent what must have been the tedium of spending time in a POW camp, then well done. But gameplay wise, this becomes very boring, very fast. I had a similar issue with a recent book I played called "Dracula's Castle", where playing as the Count in that adventure you circled around and around the same sections so many times that it started to become ridiculous. This also leads to the typical abuse that this type of design provides, as once you find a place that gives you a stat boost, or money, or provisions, then all you need to do is keep returning to these areas and build up as much as you need. For example, there is a book in the prison library that can be read which gives you a +1 bonus to your Persuasion stat, and as there are no caps on your stats in this adventure, you can keep reading this same book over and over and jack up this stat. 

However, the abusing of boosting your stats, money, and provisions by repeating sections is unfortunately necessary, as the back half of the book, which occurs after you escape the castle and details your travelling from Colditz to the Swiss border, is very difficult. Just about any wrong move here will result in instant failure, and there are also a couple of encounters you likely have no chance against unless you have an incredibly high Strength score. But hey, at least there are some combats in this book. The adventure does provide several different ways to escape the castle, including the basic approach of jumping over the fence. You can also try faking an illness, or participate in a tunnel escape with a group of other prisoners. Giving you several ways to escape is a great inclusion, but this is sabotaged by having only one of the avenues provide you any real chance of success once you make it out and begin to travel overland towards Switzerland. You will not have had time to gather the necessary items if you take the jumping the fence approach, and the faking illness option leaves you with an incredibly weakened Strength attribute. In both cases, you are almost certainly doomed to failure. So even though the author provides these different escape methods, the tunnel seems to be the one he really wants you to take.   

I have the dubious privilege of reporting that the reference errors that plagued the previous book in the series return here. I also came across sections that did not tell you where to turn to next at all (which is basically the same as giving you an incorrect reference), and there are also several examples of something done in gamebooks that I despise. That being, what section you turn to next depends upon the section that you just came FROM. Note to gamebook authors, not all of us cheat by using the "five finger bookmark". At least give the reader a heads up to note down the section number they are on if it will be required in the next paragraph. As opposed to the previous book, the character you play as here is at least actually a hero this time, but he is such a blank and boring individual (he probably should have been named "Guy Pilot") that it's tough to get any feel for him. Despite playing this book many times, I still know basically nothing about his history, backstory, or even personality. 

    

Some of these may be minor things perhaps, but as mentioned at the top of the review, there were a few moments that actually had me laughing out loud, and I doubt this was intended (although admittedly I was starting to get delirious from playing this). These moments included:

- There is one place where you have the option to learn morse code. This had me thinking, "ok, that could come in handy, and will probably result in a boost to one or more of my stats". So I turned to the indicated section to find that instead of any stat bonus, it contained the actual morse code alphabet written out! Was I supposed to memorize all that? I'm sure glad I didn't try, as the code never came up again anyway. 

- In more than one section of the book, you are asked to make a decision about what you want to do, and then a blank line is provided for you to write down what you decide to do right there ON THE BOOK before you proceed to the next section. What on Earth is the point of that? 

- When trying the faking illness approach, you are given the option of learning about 3 different illnesses, with presumably you having the choice of which one you want to attempt to fake. But then the book just decides the illness for you (duodenal ulcer). I'm sure glad I got to learn all about dysentery first though. That was some pleasant yet pointless information. 

- After escaping the camp you can find yourself stopping to rest, and then are told you LOSE 2 Strength points for the exertion. The exertion of resting?

Finally, the author clearly seems to have taken inspiration from the classic 1963 movie "The Great Escape", with several parallel scenes to that film, including the Escape Committee that approves all escape attempts, the tunnel that comes up just short, you banging your suitcase while emerging from the tunnel, and a German soldier trying to trick you into revealing yourself at the train station. For my money, "The Great Escape" is one of the best films ever made, and if playing this book did anything for me, it made me want to go watch that movie again, despite having seen it numerous times in my life. If you have never seen it before, do yourself a favour and give it a watch, it's time much better spent than playing this gamebook, that is for certain.

I'm sorry to say there is no jumping over barbed wire fences on a motorcycle in this gamebook 

Ranking: A step up from the previous book, but that isn't saying much. A great idea wasted by extremely tedious gameplay, a dull as dirt protagonist, and most importantly, more mistakes and errors scattered throughout which have really contributed in a large degree to ruining this series. This surely has to be one of the worst series ever, and I'm really glad it's over.